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My Ten Commandments of Cooking
Feb. 10th, 2013 12:42 pmIf there were ten commandments in cooking, what would they be?
Here Are Mine.
1) Pasta must be al dente. That means soft but firm. Don't wait until the pasta is mushy before you take it off the stove. Unless you're in a fallout shelter or something similar, canned pasta is a major no-no. Boxed Macaroni and Cheese is a better choice than canned pasta noodles! Even if all you have is a microwave, many companies now make microwavable pasta that is *still* better than anything canned. Pasta sauce should be warm, and it's important to time things well enough that the pasta itself doesn't get cold while you're preparing the sauce. The sauce and/or meat should have a strong flavor because the noodles themselves generally don't. The sauce is the only flavoring you get. I add spices to my storebought sauce, including sometimes a pinch of cinnamon. I personally believe that while you should mix the sauce and meat in with shaped noodles (because otherwise they get lost under the sauce), when preparing spaghetti, the meat and sauce should be ladled on top, because spaghetti noodles are twirled around a fork, which controls the distribution of meat and sauce on its own. Remember, pasta is deceptive because everyone thinks it's easy, so there's a lot of bad pasta being prepared out there by overconfident cooks who don't understand that there's a Right Way and a Wrong Way.
2) Never, ever, ever, use anything but actual tomatoes for tomatoes. Do not use Campbell's Tomato Soup (or any tomato soup from a can, but especially not Campbell's sugary, tomato flavored water) because you don't have any spaghetti sauce. Don't use ketchup for anything that isn't a hamburger, hot dog, french fry or chicken nugget. The thing we think of as ketchup in contemporary times was designed specifically to compliment those dishes, but doesn't work as well with older or fancier dishes or ones not designed for the Anglo/North American palate. Corollary: Tights are not pants and salsa and taco sauce are not the same thing. For people who don't make either one from scratch, taco sauce is a thin, spicy ketchup that either comes in a small squeeze bottle or a tear open plastic pouch, while salsa is a thick medley of diced vegetables and fruit that comes in a jar. Lately, my parents, when we have tacos, have been forgetting to buy salsa because "we have the taco sauce that came in the taco kit, isn't that the same thing?" OMG, NO. Then I make my own and they won't eat it because they don't understand how salsa works.
3) Processed Cheese Food is the dairy equivalent of ketchup. It's fine on cheap, easy food but doesn't belong anywhere else.
4) Don't cook hotdogs or fish in a microwave if you share a kitchen with other people. The whole room will reek.
5) A serving is less than you think it is.
6) Occasionally go through your spices and baking ingredients, throw out most of them and get fresh ones. Literally fresh is always the best, but ground stuff in plastic bottles from the dollar store *can* work. However, if your spices are fused into a solid clump at the bottom of the jar and you have to bang it on the counter to dislodge enough to use, it's probably time to get new stuff. Buy smaller jars if you're not likely to use up a full sized one.
7) But spices in general always improve your food. You don't have to season everything with habanero but if you're not having acid reflux and you're under forty five, insisting on eating bland food all the time is practically a sin.
8) There is absolutely nothing wrong with liking alcohol that doesn't taste like alcohol. Classy people drink expensive drinks slowly and savor them. Really fun people drink stuff that tastes like candy. People who believe the point of drinking is to get as drunk as possible and that one's manliness is based on how much of that alcohol is straight undiluted swill are not as fun to be around as they think they are when they're drunk. More on this later.
9) The materials that make up the dishes you cook and serve with/on make a big difference in how food and drink taste. Plastic leeches chemicals into your food and ultimately changes the taste. Don't put plastic dishes in a microwave. Don't serve alcoholic drinks in plastic cups unless you're serving a huge group of people whose drunken reflexes you don't trust. Food and drink always taste better when served on natural materials such as glass, crystal, china, silver, wood, stone or clay.
10) Organic, locally farmed eggs last longer than factory farm eggs as long as you never put them in the fridge. When refrigerated, they will have the same lifespan as store bought.
Here Are Mine.
1) Pasta must be al dente. That means soft but firm. Don't wait until the pasta is mushy before you take it off the stove. Unless you're in a fallout shelter or something similar, canned pasta is a major no-no. Boxed Macaroni and Cheese is a better choice than canned pasta noodles! Even if all you have is a microwave, many companies now make microwavable pasta that is *still* better than anything canned. Pasta sauce should be warm, and it's important to time things well enough that the pasta itself doesn't get cold while you're preparing the sauce. The sauce and/or meat should have a strong flavor because the noodles themselves generally don't. The sauce is the only flavoring you get. I add spices to my storebought sauce, including sometimes a pinch of cinnamon. I personally believe that while you should mix the sauce and meat in with shaped noodles (because otherwise they get lost under the sauce), when preparing spaghetti, the meat and sauce should be ladled on top, because spaghetti noodles are twirled around a fork, which controls the distribution of meat and sauce on its own. Remember, pasta is deceptive because everyone thinks it's easy, so there's a lot of bad pasta being prepared out there by overconfident cooks who don't understand that there's a Right Way and a Wrong Way.
2) Never, ever, ever, use anything but actual tomatoes for tomatoes. Do not use Campbell's Tomato Soup (or any tomato soup from a can, but especially not Campbell's sugary, tomato flavored water) because you don't have any spaghetti sauce. Don't use ketchup for anything that isn't a hamburger, hot dog, french fry or chicken nugget. The thing we think of as ketchup in contemporary times was designed specifically to compliment those dishes, but doesn't work as well with older or fancier dishes or ones not designed for the Anglo/North American palate. Corollary: Tights are not pants and salsa and taco sauce are not the same thing. For people who don't make either one from scratch, taco sauce is a thin, spicy ketchup that either comes in a small squeeze bottle or a tear open plastic pouch, while salsa is a thick medley of diced vegetables and fruit that comes in a jar. Lately, my parents, when we have tacos, have been forgetting to buy salsa because "we have the taco sauce that came in the taco kit, isn't that the same thing?" OMG, NO. Then I make my own and they won't eat it because they don't understand how salsa works.
3) Processed Cheese Food is the dairy equivalent of ketchup. It's fine on cheap, easy food but doesn't belong anywhere else.
4) Don't cook hotdogs or fish in a microwave if you share a kitchen with other people. The whole room will reek.
5) A serving is less than you think it is.
6) Occasionally go through your spices and baking ingredients, throw out most of them and get fresh ones. Literally fresh is always the best, but ground stuff in plastic bottles from the dollar store *can* work. However, if your spices are fused into a solid clump at the bottom of the jar and you have to bang it on the counter to dislodge enough to use, it's probably time to get new stuff. Buy smaller jars if you're not likely to use up a full sized one.
7) But spices in general always improve your food. You don't have to season everything with habanero but if you're not having acid reflux and you're under forty five, insisting on eating bland food all the time is practically a sin.
8) There is absolutely nothing wrong with liking alcohol that doesn't taste like alcohol. Classy people drink expensive drinks slowly and savor them. Really fun people drink stuff that tastes like candy. People who believe the point of drinking is to get as drunk as possible and that one's manliness is based on how much of that alcohol is straight undiluted swill are not as fun to be around as they think they are when they're drunk. More on this later.
9) The materials that make up the dishes you cook and serve with/on make a big difference in how food and drink taste. Plastic leeches chemicals into your food and ultimately changes the taste. Don't put plastic dishes in a microwave. Don't serve alcoholic drinks in plastic cups unless you're serving a huge group of people whose drunken reflexes you don't trust. Food and drink always taste better when served on natural materials such as glass, crystal, china, silver, wood, stone or clay.
10) Organic, locally farmed eggs last longer than factory farm eggs as long as you never put them in the fridge. When refrigerated, they will have the same lifespan as store bought.
